Was it Mark Twain who said that "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."? Don't know eh? Well it was, and I'm pretty sure too because I just copy pasted that line from somewhere. Notice the full stop at the end of that quote. I didn't even bother editing it out. Okay anyway, on to more important things, like, do I agree with that quote? No I do not. Also in my capacity as the lone ranting hermit on the non-sarcastic (with a hyphen) blog's BOD, I am not allowed to agree with such blasphemy. Not that I want to, you understand. That's the important thing.
Anyway, nub of the matter, so to speak, is that the logical conclusion, is that somethings are stupid. Here's a list.
1. The phrase 'a pain in the butt'. Anybody and everybody keeps spouting the phrase. "Man, this course is a pain in the butt" and "Mark is being a real pain in the ass". I think it is very offensive and ignorant towards people in hospitals suffering from butt disorders. Like I saw this one episode on House (FOX 9PM Eastern) where this guy suffered from a rectal bleed. Now that's a real pain in the butt.
2. People who read the above pet peeve and observed I used the name 'Mark' instead of a more 'Indian' name like 'Oomanakuttan' or 'Nelson Mohammad Gandhi'. So, I wanted to reach a wider audience, sue me. Unless you're a crazy lawyer. In which case, you can express your discontent in a civil manner in the
comments section.
3. The word 'cool'. It's overdone. And it's variations, like 'cool stuff', 'cool shit', 'cool man' and the especially putrid 'coolio'. I wonder where he is though, 'Coolio'. Kinda disappeared after that lone grammy he won in '96. So, if you're playing jeopardy and the category is 'four letter words that have been abused the most' for $300 and you get the word 'cool', don't answer with a 'Hey, let's eat Pizza today?' or a 'Wanna go for a movie?'. Try instead a 'How would you like your lemonade this hot summer day?' or even a 'How does the muzzle of a gun pressed against your temple feel?'.
4. Same as three, but you chose the category 'most abused three letter words' for $500 instead and the word was 'hot'. Priyanka Chopra is a Goddess who walks on earth and is the epitome of grace and perfection. A metal foundry on the other hand, is 'hot'. I mean these are slang that have existed for more than 20 years now. We're in danger of using the same slang as old people. It is time to move on.
5. People who thought
The Dark Knight was only an 'okay' movie. Suddenly, everyone's a critic. I've seen puke with better taste.
6. Rumours of Ronaldo moving to Real. Like
ManU's some stupid hick who gets dumped at the altar and then decides to return to his hometown and introspect on his life and pick up the pieces of what's left of it and then realises he has nothing really earth shattering going on his life anyway and proceeds to disembowel himself. It's a subtle analogy. You have to go through it with a fine toothed comb to get it.
7. People who have pet peeves not on this list. Grow up, suck-on-it and learn to be tolerant you intolerant
vastards, as a friend of the BOD likes to put it.
Yours sincerely,
The ranting hermit.
