Spam alert!

This post is of high importance and will contain minimal sarcasm, possibly even zero sarcasm.

The spam I refer to is not from the outside. Instead it is one of our co-authors who decided to contaminate our dear NSB. It has always been our nature to stick to principles and not break them, whatever the circumstances. But the post on Chromotron came in as a major shock to me! The rules that he so blatantly broke are:

1. Every post must contain as much evil as is possible. The only evil word in his post was 'dark'. Simply unacceptable.

2. All posts must be very different from other posts. The usage of must...blah, must...blahblah and must...more blahblahblah is getting ridiculous.

3. Death, evil, must...kill, idiot, Dodo

4. Every post must be useless. Useful posts can go to tuttyfruitymushywushy.blogspot.com or usefulpostssonly.blogspot.com or ibemakingverygayposts.blogspot.com

Must stay bored...

Must play Chronotron... Must stay bored...feeel weak... going dark... reach keynoarrrrrr...Wlrah.


http://www.addictinggames.com/chronotron.html

How to get bored

Since I am bored most of the time these days, I thought I might help others who might be trying to follow the path of boredom. All the people get bored some of the time. Some people get bored all the time. But, it is my life mission to make all the people bored all the time. Now that is not an easy task. But I found out a way that helped me in getting closer to that goal.

It all started with a bit of laziness, which, of course,  is a pre-requisite for boredom. If you are not born lazy, then this is not for you. Even if you were trained to be lazy, it would be hard to follow the talented lazy ones. So, as I was saying, this laziness started because I had to get a bottle of maaza from my refrigerator to quench my thirst while I was lying on my bed with my laptop. After thinking for about half an hour, whether or not to get that bottle, my thirst ordered me to go and get it. In that hurry, my laptop fell on the floor, creating a small dent on the marble floor. It also transferred some of that white paint onto my extremely shiny and well-maintained black laptop.

Luckily, it was still working but I found out that the wireless connection on my laptop had decided to go berserk. It was now giving a speed of 3 kbps instead of the usual 60. The next thing I saw were the gates to hell opening themselves, inviting me in. But, after some thought, I realized that I should act more sensibly. And so, I am currently sharing this incident to all those who want to follow me. Here are the steps:

1. Pick up your laptop.

2. Raise it to around 2 meters above the ground.

3. (Optional) Turn on the laptop. This will give better results.

4. Make sure that 5 fingers are used to hold the laptop.

5. Start a countdown from 10 down till 0.

6. Pretend to squish a fly near your ears with both hands the second you mutter zero.

7. Within 1 second, the marble paint should be on your shiny well-maintained black laptop.

8. Check to see that the laptop is still working.

9. If it is not, probably your wireless connection is also not working, which is a good thing.

10. If your wireless connection is still working, repeat the above steps till it stops working, or your laptop becomes white, or your downstairs neighbour starts complaining, or your laptop stops working.

11. The time taken to get bored will now depend on other factors. I got bored in 20 seconds. It would take even upto 2 hours. This is inversely proportional to your coolness factor.

12. As a final step, if all of this went according to plan, you should have suicided by now and not gotten to see Step # 12. I would have already met you in hell.

Be a-ware! Do the right thing!

Dear readers,
NSB was started as a blog to make a difference to our world, and we intend to keep that promise. Every post is delivered to you freshly packed and enriched with NutriWords™, supplemented by VitaGraphs™ and plenty of FibroPics™ so that you get a complete, balanced, wholesome dose of information that adds that zinnnng to your day!
At NSB, we care, about you, your family and their well-being, and would never entertain even the faintest notions of providing anything less than the very best!

The exciting lives of the people around us is what motivates every member here at NSB to provide the very best articles. Today's article is a tribute to the lives of these people, who sit at their comps with grit and determination, to make their day special and live out their dreams! We salute you! \0/
PS: Yes, we're a motivated bunch :)

Disproved

Yesterday, scientists after 6 years, 5 months, 4 days, 3 hours, 2 minutes and 1 second of research, found out that the bird was actually not a word. The startling information came just minutes before the official announcement for the confirmation of bird being the same as a word.

The scientific calculations proved that the bird was equal to or greater than a word. Therefore, the chance that the bird was exactly equal to a bird was very very slim. The fact that it has been widely published that the bird was equal to the word, was interpreted as 'the bird is ALWAYS equal to the word'. This has now been modified to 'the bird is SOMETIMES equal to the word'.

Although, it may only be a minor rewording of the statement, it has had pretty strong repercussions all over the world. But, it may not be the biggest scare yet, because there are rumors that scientists are on the verge of another major discovery, that the 'bird itself is not a bird'.

Did you know that...

Over the years, humans have produced some good music(Yeah ok, Humans - Creed have produced good music). But, ever once in a while, they come up with songs that have such complexity, such guitar solos, such melodies and most signficantly, such beauty. Probably the greatest song ever made has to be "Surfin' Bird' by The Trashmen. If you thought the title was good and the band name was great, then the lyrics are gonna blow your mind away:

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Very very surprisingly, the Ramones have covered this song. Maybe the world hadn't yet realized that the bird is a word.

coming soon: adventure,mystery, and gratuitous sex

The Last Panda hasn't been spotted in a while.Some say he is dead. Some say he quit his job as a bad-humour fighting supervillain to preach at the church of scientology. Still others say he just nipped down to the local porn store to refill his dwindling supplies. His less talented minion co-bloggers have been posting (mostly random pieces of clipart floating about on the interwebs) intermittently. People walking on the streets pause a while, their weary eyes searching the murky skies for a sign of justice and comic relief, only to quickly look again and walk back to their mundane lives. Will there be no relief from this dastardly assault on taste? Will not a new hero arise to bring back evil grins to the faces of the wretched unwashed masses? Who shall save us all from this pit of literary depression(or recession perhaps)? Maybe a racoon, or a possessed teddy bear?

Fear not. The Panda lives. From this wretched uncharted corner of the blogosphere, he shall arise anew, in his own film-noir style comic strip. As soon as hes back from the local porn store.